Giving for you Art

Have you ever experienced a deep pain your heart from loss or love? Have you fought, suffered, lived passionately, and stopped to watch the people passing by? It is my belief that it is the experiences in our lives that create the art we make. We are artists because we see the world differently than most. When we see a building it is more than just a building. We see a brick slightly misplaced and wonder who placed that brick? Did they become lazy or slip when laying it wrong? Did they have a family they were hurrying to get home to, and became sloppy with their work? We are artists because we notice. We feel. We sacrifice. And we are brave enough to share a piece of our soul with the rest of the world.

People have often told me that they never know what I am thinking. That I react to situations and life differently than expected. That my choices are often unexpected and odd. Whether good or bad I am yet to know. I do know that I am one of the most aware people I know. I notice the world around me, the faces one makes when I make a certain comment or the way one responds with body language to my actions. Everything I do and feel in my life I store in my mind to use for my art. I love interacting with people. I have a had a great love in my life. It was horrible. My heart was ripped out, I felt like nothing, I fought with my family over it, I almost destroyed the independent person I had worked my whole life to be. I almost lost myself. Amidst all of it, I noticed. The feelings my heart and soul felt were some of the lowest points of my life. Through it, I took notes. In some unexplainable way I enjoyed the passion and pain I felt because I felt like I was growing closer to understanding the human soul. It is a place I can go and use in my acting. It's all for my craft. The dark places I felt for three years with my family and love is now a piece of the magic behind my acting. It is a part of my life experience. Just one small piece of my life experience that I keep in my actors toolbox. I am willing to sacrifice opening up those hurtful feelings for my art.

There are so many other ways to sacrifice for you art. Many actors have stripped themselves bare naked, starved themselves, made themselves ugly and shown their flaws to encompass a role. This, however, has made them great. It is our flaws, if we are willing to show them, that make us interesting as artists. It is the appeal. If we want to see flawlessness we can open up a Vogue magazine. But true art lies in the mistakes and darkness of the human. It is when we reveal this side of ourselves to the world that greatness can happen. It is when we let go. Some examples that come to mind are Cameron Diaz in Being John Malkovich, Charlize Theron in Monster, and Christian Bale in The Machinist.

Cameron Diaz when outside a comfort zone and completely diminished her beauty in this role. She covered over her piercing blue eyes with brown contacts and muted her hair color. She also got rid of her tan and didn't wear very much makeup. My acting professor, Joseph Hacker, has always told me that when you stop being selfish and lose conscious of your vanity your acting will truly become something.

Christian Bale said that in order to create the emaciated look for the part he had to stop eating and develop anorexia. Its crazy to think that someone brought that upon them self and suffered in order to make entertainment for us.

So can I do it? Can you?